A Royal Awakening
The day is December 5th, 2017. I was sitting on my bed in my apartment in Montreal, and I was scrolling aimlessly through Twitter. Meghan Markle had just announced her engagement to Prince Harry and I was deep in thought. I loved Meghan Markle when she was in Suits, and I was ecstatic to hear about her engagement to the handsome English prince. But there’s also a nagging voice in the back of my head that I couldn’t shake. I felt upset? Disgruntled? Sad? Why were these emotions swirling around inside of me after hearing this wonderful announcement? Was it because I was jealous? Suddenly, I sat up quickly, my muscles are tight and my breaths are coming out in short spurts. Why was I jealous? This actress who will never know who I am, is consuming my thoughts. I’m never shy when it comes to admitting how attractive women are, but to consider a future with them? It was a little scary.
A little background on myself, I’ve been “straight” for as long as I can remember, I had boyfriends in middle school, high school, and most of my hookups have been with men. In high school, I was really attracted to one girl but never came to any sort of realization. It was as if I knew I was going to end with a guy in the end, so why entertain the thought of being with a woman? I was raised in a pretty open household, with parents who never shamed lesbian women or gay men, so it wasn’t like I should have been afraid to recognize this newfound aspect of my sexuality because of some messed up preconceived notions. But it wasn’t until I was 21 that I realized that not only did I find men attractive but that women were also REALLY attractive. It’s true everyone, I am bisexual.
I first came out to my closest friends and the responses I received turned my insides into mush. Next I came out to my younger sister (“I kind of guessed”) and the final step to tackle was coming out to my parents. Like I said before, it was a very open household and a judgement free zone, but this seemed to be a looming task that would undoubtedly change their perception of me. It wasn’t until I came home from school for the summer that I decided to come out to them. That day, my thoughts were racing (“I need to tell them now” “How am I going to tell them?” “There’s nothing to be nervous about, you know they’re going to love you no matter what”) Despite these thoughts, I was still anxious to put those words out there. Finally, they’re getting ready to leave the house and I decide that moment is a good time to tell them. I take a deep breath, and say “I just wanted to let you guys know, that I’m bisexual”. Cue the tears. I got a hug from my mom; she was a little confused, but supportive nonetheless, with my dad in the background asking what that meant. Wiping my tears I explain that I’m attracted to both men and women and my mom asks if this is a phase (she knows better now). I explain that it’s not a phase and my dad finally hugs me and pats me on the back, and both of them tell me they love me (I could have predicted about 90% of this reaction from my parents, yet I still cried, which will frustrate me to no end).
I’m so lucky to have such a supportive family and group of friends who will help me through the intricacies of dating both men and women. And I want to give a special thank you to Prince Harry for proposing to Meghan Markle, which allowed me to finally have a tough conversation with myself and stop living in the dark.